All of You

 
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Five years ago - I would have looked at this picture and torn myself into a million pieces.

Breaking myself into fragments. 

Staring at my stomach. Blind to the rest of me.

Beating myself up for not being fit enough. For not being where I wanted to be. 

For not looking like an Olympian ‘should.’ {wtf does that even mean?!}

I probably would have deleted it, just like I did with all the other pictures that ‘exposed’ me. 

The little voice in my head would’ve grown louder.

You shouldn’t have rolls, it would’ve said. 

Even though I had healed from my eating disorder years ago - I had never challenged the beliefs I held about my body. 

I still expected perfection. And falling short was not an option. 
Except, I now know - it’s the ONLY option when Perfection drives.

I'll never forget when one of my teammates posted a picture of her real self. Raw and Unedited. Of her beautiful belly. Hanging over her yoga pants. Stretch marks and all. 

Oh my gosh. I stopped and stared. And thought to myself - that looks like me. 

And in that moment, something shifted in me.

I felt less alone.

I asked myself, 

WHY AM I HIDING PARTS OF ME? 

When I walked it down, I realized I was afraid.


Of what people would think.
Of what people would say.

Of being exposed as a fraud. 

Seeing the picture of my teammate - and reading her words moved me.

Because, AUTHENTICITY.

It can be HARD to find it out here on social. For all of us. 

The pulls to hide the parts of us that feel broken - they're real. 

But I have to ask: 

Who are we hiding them from? And, why? 

No matter how hard we try - and I spent 13 years trying - we cannot control what others think and say about us. 

What someone says about you - says more about who they are in this world and how they’re choosing to show up - than it does anything about you.

No more breaking yourself into fragments. 

No more hiding pieces of you.

No more walking around looking for confirmation that you’re not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough... 

It’s time. To give yourself permission to be YOU. 

The WHOLE you.
 

Last night, when I flipped through the 263 😳photos taken by J, there was no noise. No more voice telling me all the ways I’m not enough. 

When I look at this picture, I see

Strength. Beauty. Resilience. Courage. Love. Confidence. 

When I look at this picture, I see

Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Cousin. Friend. Coach. Teammate. Badass. 

When we send out a representative to live our life - the version of us that we think people want to see, we block ourselves from fully feeling joy. 

If we want to be fully loved, we have to be fully seen. 

Releasing the stranglehold of Perfection - and the grip of the inner critic is hard. 

And. We can do hard. Especially that kind of hard. 

I’ve got you. 

~

This isn't work we do alone.

Grab my hand. 

Because YOU are worthy. And so fiercely capable. 

And, asking for help and stepping into our lives fully and completely might just be the bravest thing we'll ever do.

~

SO pumped to share this with you!! The doors of the Compassion Project will open in May 2018 with the launch of my online academy - name still TBD - because, #recoveringperfectionist.

{insert celebratory dance!!}

 
 

 I cannot wait to invite you into this space with me. 

 If you are ready to quiet the noise and live your life with more balance, deeper joy - and inner peace, I see you. And I cannot wait to help you make these shifts - so you can step into a life that is fully your own. So you can live FREE.  

More details coming soon!! To learn more and be the first to register, head over here.

~

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Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic Gold Medalist, transformational speaker, high performance coach, mama of four girls. 

Samantha empowers women to cultivate the courage, resilience and perseverance needed to live their dreams. She helps her clients expand their high performance skill set and let go of beliefs that are keeping them stuck - opening up the door for freedom, balance and joy that transcends.

Samantha candidly shares her battles with her inner critic, depression, perfection, PTSD and parenting as a working mother because she believes in the transformative power of story – and the strength that comes from knowing we are not alone. She is on a mission to pay forward all that she’s learned to help others find joy and live free.
  
A mama of heart warrior and mama of twins, Samantha and her husband, Rob, live in the Berkshires with their four girls. You can learn more about Samantha at www.samanthalivingstone.com.

You can find her here, linking arms with the powerful community that is the  I AM CHALLENGE.