You Are Enough {Even when you don't feel it}

 
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During one of my High Performance Deep Dives last month, a student-athlete asked me one of the toughest questions I've ever been asked. She said, "As a mom of four girls, if you could pass along only one thing you've learned, what it be?"

Without hesitation, I replied:

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Sixty beautiful, brave, badass collegiate student-athletes at one of the most prestigious schools in the country, stared back at me. In total silence. And I knew - for most of the women in that room, including the coaches, these three words felt foreign.

I get it. On so many levels.

So many of us do - and yet, side by side we struggle in silence. Telling ourselves the story that everyone else has it all together.  

Today, it's not enough to be perfect - you must arrive there effortlessly. 

This is not sustainable.

It's dangerous.

Something has to give.

And it's usually our mental health.

The noise becomes unbearable.

Our minds become a battlefield. Robbing us from feeling deep joy. All of it exacerbated by the cultural pressures. 

Do more. Be more. Just try harder.

We're hyper focused on all the ways we're falling short. On all the ways we're not enough.

I get it.

And, now I know there's another way of living. 

And, every woman is worthy of this level of freedom. 

To know she is ENOUGH.

~

In her latest book - released this week - Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives , Rachel Simmons exposes the current psychological crisis our girls are facing. I couldn't get my copy fast enough. The irony not lost on me.

I'm 150 pages in and haven't stopped nodding my head, underlining, scribbling down notes and shouting YES.

EXACTLY THIS. YES. YES. YES.

She so eloquently describes what I've experienced in my own life - and validates what I'm seeing and hearing in my work with high school and collegiate girls.

AND, the women raising them.

The expectations and shoulds and have tos are crushing us. 

In an article about her book, Simmons shares:

"We're now giving girls access to STEM (science, technology, engineering and math). We're giving girls access to opportunities they've never had before. And we're not doing that and saying, 'Oh, you don't have to have a bikini body anymore. That's cool. You're good. You can look however you want to look,' 
No, we're saying 'keep your bikini body and become an engineering major and also have a totally lit Snapchat feed on a Saturday night,' and so that's exhausting, and I call that role overload and role conflict."

Though the details are different, we know this struggle as women.

Which makes it tricky to read it without fueling the already roaring inner critic.

Left unchecked, this information can be manipulated by the little voice in our head that's already telling us all the ways we're not enough. As mothers. Daughters. Sisters. Friends. Partners. Business owners. And all the things.

We wonder, How can we help them if we can't help ourselves?

Driving greater levels of inner conflict.

A friend courageously shared this thought after reading the article:

"Great read, thanks for sharing. I was reading this thinking; how do keep my daughter from putting this kind of pressure on herself, when I put that kind of pressure on myself all the time?"

When we read through the lens of perfectionism, all of this becomes one more way we're not enough.

It's time to put down our perfectionist armor.

 To your inner critic,

I see you.

I'm calling bullshit. Your time's up.

We are here to take our power back.

For our girls. With our girls.

For ourselves.

I promise, it's possible. 

And, this isn't work we do alone.

Grab my hand. 

Because YOU are worthy. And so fiercely capable. 

And, asking for help and stepping into our lives fully and completely might just be the bravest thing we'll ever do.

~

SO pumped to share this with you!! The doors of the Rise Free Academy will open in May 2018!

{insert celebratory dance!!}

 
 

 I cannot wait to invite you into this space with me. 

 If you are ready to quiet the noise and live your life with more balance, deeper joy - and inner peace, I see you. And I cannot wait to help you make these shifts - so you can step into a life that is fully your own. So you can live FREE.  

More details coming soon!! To learn more and be the first to register, head over here.

~

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Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic Gold Medalist, transformational speaker, high performance coach, mama of four girls. 

Samantha empowers women to cultivate the courage, resilience and perseverance needed to live their dreams. She helps her clients expand their high performance skill set and let go of beliefs that are keeping them stuck - opening up the door for freedom, balance and joy that transcends.

Samantha candidly shares her battles with her inner critic, depression, perfection, PTSD and parenting as a working mother because she believes in the transformative power of story – and the strength that comes from knowing we are not alone. She is on a mission to pay forward all that she’s learned to help others find joy and live free.
  
A mama of heart warrior and mama of twins, Samantha and her husband, Rob, live in the Berkshires with their four girls. You can learn more about Samantha at www.samanthalivingstone.com.

You can find her here, linking arms with the powerful community that is the  I AM CHALLENGE.