This past week kicked my ass. On so many fronts.  I got knocked down hard with a PTSD trigger and it's been a while since I've had to cope with the aftermath.   That coupled with a cold/bug of some sort that took away one of my biggest coping mechanisms (hard workouts) had me in a low head space at times.

{And. I'm proud of how I responded. How much progress I've made.}

Here's what I know for sure... We can get so wrapped up in the tiny details of our day - hyper-analyzing and criticizing - that we forget to step back to breathe, especially when life throws us curveballs.

{This week, I was able to step back ~ I tuned in and honored the really messy parts of this journey that is life.  The hard shit.  I reached out for support.  I let love in. Self-love. And compassion.}

In the words of Glennon: "You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it's hard. Not because you're doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don't avoid the pain. You need it. It's meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you'll burn to get your work done on this earth."

I am a recovering perfectionist, so my pain reflex is to act - to make it go away.  To do something.  Control. Organize. Clean. Push. Chase. To just try harder.

'If I just get my outside world controlled, organized and perfect, the pain will go away.'

Except, that doesn't work. The pain is still there.

Truth? When I take the time to be still ~ and to be a compassionate observer of my life by stepping back ~ I'm able to meet myself with love and grace.  I'm able to give myself permission to just be.

Sometimes, the way through the pain is in the surrendering.