Dear Baby Girl, You Are Enough

 
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I spent a lot of my life in a state of proving.

Three and a half decades.

Proving that I was capable.
Proving that I was fast enough.
Proving that I was smart enough. 
Proving that I was strong enough.

{ which morphed into }

Proving that I had my shit together.
Proving that I was worthy of taking up space.
Proving that I was worthy of having a voice.
Proving that I was worthy of love. 
Proving that I was worthy of belonging.

{ a dangerous shift }

Not anymore.

It’s not that I’ve given up growth + progress + chasing down my dreams; I haven’t.

The difference:

I know now that my worthiness of love + belonging is a birthright. Free from any and all conditions.

(yours is too)

I know now that what we DO in the world and who we ARE are not one in the same, even if the world tries to tell us differently.

Making the shift out of that space of PROVING and into the space of BEING has been one of the most liberating shifts of my life.

It's taken time. Reflection. Coaching. Mentorship. And a willingness to step into a new level of expansiveness.

In order to make that change, I had to detach all conditions from my worthiness of love + belonging.

The list has been long: my body size, shape, weight; number of medals; productivity; parenting; cleanliness of my house; size of my bank account; number of likes and double taps on social; external feedback from others; and on.

Shedding the layers isn’t work that ever ‘ends’ - because we’re hardwired to be social creatures; we care what other people think. And we’re constantly internalizing messages - our brains forming stories.

Our work isn’t to shut out all feedback or to stop caring; it’s in learning how to differentiate - who’s feedback matters and why.

I no longer depend on external feedback to validate my worthiness of love. Big work for a recovering perfectionist.

Doing so has allowed me to venture into new spaces with a fierce confidence - and knowingness - that no matter what happens:

I am loved. And I belong to me.

That shit is POWERFUL.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to share the one piece of wisdom I’d pass down to my daughters if I could choose only ONE thing.

After spending three and a half decades of life chasing down love + belonging, trying to achieve all the things and check all the boxes - only to find out it was there all along, the words rolled out of my mouth before I could even think about them. I just knew:

YOU are enough, exactly as you are.

 
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Dear Baby Girl,

There will be times you’ll fall short of your goals and expectations;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times you may finish last;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times you’ll feel unprepared;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times you’ll feel weak;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times others will judge you;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times when you feel swallowed up by hard things;

remember: you are enough.

There will be times when your light will shine so brightly;

remember: you are enough.

If you feel stuck in this space of having to prove your self-worth, you can leave the room.

Because even when your best isn’t enough to achieve the result you want, it doesn’t mean YOU are not enough.

Love,

Your mama

 
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As hard as we try, we cannot control what other people think of us.

Here are some questions for deeper reflection:

What are you trying to prove? To whom? And WHY?

Are you spending time + energy trying to control what others think of you - how they feel - what they say?

Instead of staying stuck in this space of proving {fear-based energy}, what if you gave yourself permission to release the things you can’t control? What would that feel like?

If you need help (because, we all do), my hand is out. You could start here with the free, five day I AM Challenge and/or hop on a strategy call with me to see what might be your Next Best Step.

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Samantha Arsenault Livingstone is an Olympic Gold Medalist, high-performance consultant, mental performance coach, speaker, educator and entrepreneur. She is the founder of Livingstone High Performance, LLC., and two, multi-module online courses, the Rise Free Academy and Ride the Wave: A Bootcamp to Strengthen Our Emotional Agility — inspiring, empowering and equipping athletes, coaches and female leaders with the skills they need to become more mindful, courageous, resilient leaders.

In addition to private and group coaching, Samantha consults with teams and organizations on athlete wellness initiatives, leadership, strategic planning, rising skills and developing high-performance cultures. She is a certified instructor of Mindful Sport Performance Enhancement (MSPE) and as of September 1, 2019 will be an certified instructor of Mental Health First Aid. 

Take the five day I AM CHALLENGE and join Samantha’s private community space to link arms, connect + participate in her free challenges.

Samantha and her husband, Rob, live in the Berkshires with their four girls. To learn more about her offerings, go over to www.samanthalivingstone.com